RANT

[rant on]

Yesterday King Barack gave perhaps the only speech I will ever agree with in which he called the rioters “thugs.” The black community is in an uproar because they say that he same as called them “niggers.” See White House response here.

I for one, am incensed that blacks have appropriated the word “thug” to mean “nigger,” especially because when my brother and I were 12 and 13, we were called “thugs” because we did everything we could to imitate Elvis and James Dean. You know – we turned up our collars, tried to comb our hair into ducktails (hard to do with our hair length), wore no belts, pulled our jeans down a little, wore taps on our shoes, cussed like sailors, and smoked cigarettes. We were too poor to have black leather jackets or we would have worn those too. Funny, I don’t remember anyone accusing Elvis or James Dean of being a “niggers.”

[/rant off]

URGENT WARNING!

If you get an email titled “Nude Photo of Hillary Clinton”,….DON’T open it!

IT CONTAINS A NUDE PHOTO OF HILLARY CLINTON!

Boston Marathon bomber

Well they finally found this SOB guilty. Hard to believe in a socialist city and state. I’m surprised they didn’t nominate him to take Teddy Kennedy’s old Senate seat. Both are known killers, at least to the rest of the world.

So now the jury is debating whether or not to demand the death penalty. Not only should they apply the death penalty, but it should be carried out publicly in Boston Commons.

And his bitch mother should be deported.

Show and tell – or Q&A?


Hillary Clinton goes to a gifted-student primary school in New York to talk
about the world. After her talk, she engages them a “question and answer time”.

One little boy puts up his hand. Hillary asks him what his name is.
“Kenneth,” he replies.
“And what is your question, Kenneth?”

“I have three questions:
First – whatever happened in Benghazi?
Second – why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?
And, third – whatever happened to the missing 6 billion dollars while you were Secretary of State?”

At that moment the bell rings for recess.
Hillary Clinton informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

When they resume, Hillary says, “Okay where were we? Oh, that’s right, question and answer time. Who has a question?”

A different boy puts his hand up.
Hillary points to him and asks what his name is.
“Johnny, Ma’m.”

“And what is your question, Johnny?”

“I have five questions:
First – whatever happened in Benghazi?
Second – why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?
Third – whatever happened to the missing 6 billion dollars while you were Secretary of State?”
Fourth – why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?
And, fifth – where’s Kenneth?”

 

Jogging makes you healthy

Bill Clinton started jogging near his home in Chappaqua. But on each run he happened to jog past a hooker standing on the same street corner, day after day. With some apprehension he would brace himself as he approached her for what was most certainly to follow.

“Fifty dollars!” she would cry out from the curb.

“No, Five dollars!” fired back Clinton This ritual between Bill and the hooker continued for days. He’d run by and she’d yell, “Fifty dollars!” And he’d yell back, “Five dollars!”

One day however, Hillary decided that she wanted to accompany her husband on his jog! As the jogging couple neared the problematic street corner, Bill realized the “pro” would bark her $50 offer and Hillary would wonder what he’d really been doing on all his past outings.

He realized he should have a darn good explanation for the former Secretary of State. As they jogged into the turn that would take them past the corner, Bill became even more apprehensive than usual. Sure enough, there was the hooker! Bill tried to avoid the prostitute’s eyes as she watched the pair jog past.

Then, from the sidewalk, the hooker yelled… “See what you get for five bucks!?”

Things that I trust more than Hillary Clinton:


* Mexican tap water
* A rattlesnake with a “pet me” sign
* OJ Simpson showing me his knife collection
* A fart when I have diarrhea
* An elevator ride with Ray Rice
* Taking pills offered by Bill Cosby
* Michael Jackson’s Doctor
* An Obama Nuclear deal with Iran
* A Palestinian on a motorcycle
* Gas station Sushi
* A Jimmy Carter economic plan
* Brian Williams news reports
* Loch Ness monster sightings
* Prayers for peace from Al Sharpton

Bill and the dog


Bill Clinton was driving past the White House when he accidentally ran over the Obama’s new puppy, Sunny, crushing it flat as a fritter. He climbed out of his Rolls and sat down on the grass totally distraught. He knew Michele would go ballistic. Then he noticed a lamp half-buried in the ground. He dug it up, brushed it off and immediately a Genie popped out.

“You have freed me from thousands of years of imprisonment,” said the Genie “As a reward I shall grant you one wish.”

“Well,” said Bill, “I have all the material things I need, but let me show you this dog I just ran over.”

They walk over to the splattered remains of Sunny. “Do you think you could bring this dog back to life for me?” Bill asked. The Genie looked at the remains and shook his head. “This poor critter is too far gone for even me to bring it back to life. Maybe there’s something else you’d like?”

Bill thought for a minute, reached into his pocket and pulled out two photos. “I had an affair with this beautiful young girl called Monica,” said Bill, showing the genie the first photo. “But I’m actually married to this older, distressed looking woman called Hillary” and he showed the genie the second photo. “You see Hillary isn’t good looking at all, so do you think you can make her look pretty like Monica?”

The Genie studied the two photographs and after a few minutes said, “Damn man, let’s go have another look at that dog!”

Son, I don’t think you understand our problem here !!!!

The old fellow in the big cowboy hat got a standing ovation… the Sierra Club and the U. S. Forest Service were presenting an alternative to the Wyoming ranchers for controlling the coyote population. It seems that after years of the ranchers using the tried and true method of shooting or trapping the predators, the Sierra Club had a “more humane” solution to this issue.What they were proposing was for the animals to be captured alive. The males would then be castrated and let loose again.

This was ACTUALLY proposed by the Sierra Club and by the U. S. Forest Service. All of the ranchers thought about this amazing idea for a couple of minutes. Finally an old fellow wearing a big cowboy hat in the back of the conference room stood up, tipped his hat back and said,”Son, I don’t think you understand our problem here. These coyotes ain’t fuckin’ our sheep; they’re eatin’ ’em!”

The meeting never really got back to order.